Body Language Signs: Mirroring a Powerful Flirting Tool
April 18, 2008
Reading someone’s body language can give you a lot of information about how they are feeling about you. When you are in a relationship or on a date then this can be critical to know what is really going on in their minds. The art of reading body language is about piecing together a combination of actions that will tell you what someone is experiencing about you; what you are doing and what you are saying. This is another example in my series. I will be writing more about this topic so stay tuned.
Mirroring is one of the most powerful and persuasive body language tools we all have. People who are really interested in each other do it without thinking. If you really like someone and you’re not sure how they feel about you then you can use this method to your advantage. Mirroring is simple. It’s just as it sounds, but what is key, is to put all the pieces together. So what are the elements? The eyes are like a firework display if you know what to look for. If you have read my first article then you will know the first thing to look for in someone’s eyes.
The next thing to learn about eyes is the eyebrows; they are a clear indication of interest! Watch how they rise and fall during a conversation the more this happens the more interested they are. It’s quite entertaining to watch couples that have just met. Watch their eyebrows move up and down, what is entertaining is the speed its like a crazy eyebrow dance!
So what can you do with this? Firstly, if your date is doing this you know they are interested. Secondly if you do it (don’t go mad) then the raising of eyebrows indicates interest. We all love someone interested in us so give it a try! I am not going to labour the obvious too much but smile and maintain eye contact, the reverse will make you look miserable and shifty, and the last thing you want!
Back to mirroring. The next thing to mirror is the speed in which you talk. You will notice when you are with your friends that you probably speak at the same speed and that is why you are all in rapport. When you’re with a date slow or speed up your speech. Speaking at different speed is uncomfortable, test it with your friends, and then test it with your dates.
Sales people use speech speed a lot. They will usually speed up and distort their voice when it comes to giving you the price of a product. They know that this technique has a good chance of removing that piece of information from your mind so you miss the price and focus on the product features and benefits.
So get in rapport by mirroring their speech. The other thing to notice with speech is that when men and women are attracted to each other their voices change without them knowing. A mans voice will lower and a woman’s voice will become higher. What these two people are trying to create without realising is the differences between the sexes. It is the differences that make them more attractive to the opposite sex. I will talk about this in a future articles in my newsletter.We have now covered the face and some techniques to look out for and try.
Now that you have discovered this one powerful tool
would you like to learn more?
- Would you like “THE SECRET” to leaving a lasting positive impression with everyone you meet in just seconds?
- Would you like to know what people are really thinking and Feeling?
- Would you like to have someone you are attracted to respond to you?
- Would you like to Break Free from fear of rejection or embarrassment that is holding you back from what you want and deserve?
- Would you like to gain control and influence every relationship you have today and in the future whether it is to Make the Sale or Get the Guy/Gal?
- Would you like to know with certainty if people are being truthful and loyal?
- Would you like the key to banishing your shyness for good when meeting new people or any time you are face to face with others.
- Would you like to meet more prospective mates than you ever dreamed possible?
- Would you like to know for certain if someone is physically attracted to you?
- Would you like to reconnect with your spouse and set the stage for greater intimacy, happiness and a better life.. together?
- Do you want to understand your kids better and impact them more positively than ever before?
- Would you like to positively transform a difficult person in your life who makes you miserable?
- Do you want that dream job or to be at the top of the heap for future advancement?
If your answer is yes to any of these questions then I recommend that you check out this amazing programme that will quickly give you the power to get more of what you want and understand what is the intentions of others all without a word being spoken.
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How Can i Get my Wife to Have Sex with Me More
April 15, 2008
How can i get my wife to have sex with me more is a question I get from alot of men, so I thought I’d put some thoughts on here? Women also want more sex but they don’t feel their lives help. Stress, work, housekeeping, and looking after the kids don’t really get them in the right mood, so the chances of them feeling like it are greatly diminished.
Sex is so important to our relationships. Most relationships become distant when sex becomes less and many end. So if you don’t have sex prepare for problems. For men sex is the way that they can show their partner how much they love them. This is what men need to be able to respond to a woman emotionally (therefore it’s critical for a man) and a woman needs emotion to be able to respond to a man sexually.
When they are both in tune i.e. having fun and enjoying each other and their relationship, sex is usually great, but then problems or an argument strikes. Both are usually hell bent on being right until one backs down and says sorry or they both might just brush it under the carpet. If the man says he is sorry he will immediately want to show his partner his love for her through sex. A woman’s response is likely to be “you have got to be kidding me… you think that I’m in the mood for sex after that display from you!” So the goal is to create the right emotions and the chance of sex increasing is very high.
So how can i get my wife to have sex with me more?
One of the ways I help couples to engage with each other is to create a scenario that they can both feel good about and share. When they first met is usually a great example. I get couples to talk about their first date! When this happens, I watch the spark re-enter two people that entered the room looking depressed about life. I watch them get excited and laugh about that day. The mood in the room changes. It is this change of mood that you are after. This is one tip to try today.
This is one tip to try today. An NLP technique that will work for your relationship.
Step one. Start to think about your first date now! Take yourself back to that day. Remember how you felt before your date and then play the date just like a movie in your mind. Recount all the things that happened, what was said, the place you went to and how you tried to work out if your date liked you.
Step two. As soon as possible text or phone your partner and tell them you have been thinking about the first day you both met. This will immediately focus your partner on that day, and images and feelings will pop into there head throughout the day.
Step three. When you get home and you get a moment together, start to talk about that day. Make sure you keep the focus of the conversation on the positives of that day and keep the conversation away from the negative differences between your relationship back then and today if he or she brings them up!
Step four. Re-create that first date. Take your partner back to the same place (if possible) and do it as a surprise! Try to remember exactly what was said and reminisce together. The chance of you both feeling fantastic are very high and you will notice a shift in your relationship.
The chances of sex are now much higher, but this was not the real goal. The real goal is to get your relationship re-ignited. It works! Go and try it today.
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I’m Single Again! Why? True Life Relationship Stories
April 11, 2008
Most relationships start with dating, you meet someone special, or at least that is how it seems at the time. Then over a few weeks, months or years you discover that this person is not right for you or worse they decide you are not right for them.
You then decide to be single for a while (who needs a relationship they are just hassle! ) so you go out, party, buy new clothes or get a new hair cut and reinvent yourself, and this makes you feel so much better in fact you feel free, you love this new independent you. So you now have a new you and you start to feel great about yourself again.
Over time, you start to meet people and eventually you meet someone new and life is great again! The new you has worked, the world feels great again. Then it happens again you find something that does not sit well with you and the problems start to creep in… AGAIN! You do your best to make your relationship work but you just know it will not and the inevitable happens.
SINGLE AGAIN!!!!
This pattern repeats itself again and again. To start with, you are just angry with the idiots you keep falling for. Then the anger subsides and your emotions change and you start to doubt yourself. The questions start appearing, “What’s wrong with me? How do I get relationships so wrong? Now you have proof that you are hopeless at choosing partners and maybe you are better off on your own. Now you stay single for longer. The problem is, deep down you know you are a lovely person and you feel that being on your own is a waste, because you know you have so much love to give to the right person… But where are you?
These are stories relationship experts hear everyday, but then something happens…
Here is a true-life story that happened to one lady…
My life was one mistake after another. Bad partner choices, wrong business decisions, one more experience of pain after another. I could not understand why my life was so crap, when all I ever did was do my best in any given situation. But it always went wrong.
Within a space of 20 years, all I had experienced was pain, loss, a real sense of constantly trying and constantly failing. A string of failed careers, relationship splits, gaining and losing my financial status, the homes, the cars, and the constant change in direction was enough to drive anyone into depression and it did.
But these were all my choices; I had no one to blame but me. My choices were bad because what I made those choices on never met what was on my values list. I just did not understand values and what an impact they would have made on my past decisions. 20 years of getting it wrong need not have happened if only I knew about values and how they can save you from pain.
Understanding what my true values are enabled me to truly get to grips with who and what I wanted in my life. When I first realised that it really does work it was amazing.
I wanted to start a new business but kept going from one idea to another. Each day went by and I could not make a decision, partly through fear of failure and part because I just lost confidence in me making the right decision.I wrote down my list of values and started to question aloud if each business idea met with approval from my values list. I was so relieved when quite clearly one of the business options simply did not meet many of my values. So I rejected it and chose the one that met all my values. I had been told for so long the wrong information that it had completely taken over my life. I was no longer in control my life, it controlled me. Learning about values has put me back in the driving seat of my life. I have also applied what I have learnt from my values to my relationship. Last year I married a wonderful man. Is life perfect? I have realised that perfection does not exist; I am now choosing to live by my highest values in everything I do; now I know what they are.
Tracy from Oxford UK
What this lady was experiencing was a lack of understanding of what really made her happy. She did not realise what decisions and choices best supported her life and which caused her pain. She at this moment did not have a good relationship with herself. Once she was able to break down each element on her list of values, she was better able to choose actions and behaviours that best supported the life she truly wanted to live. Tracy is no different to you; she took one great leap to get the help that would change her life forever.
Understanding you through your values is not a quick fix, it takes time and effort, but it works and will reinvent you! You will discover that you are more capable than you think you are. What seems impossible today will be your creation in your future.
If your interested to learn more about this topic sign up for our newsletter top right of this page.
P.S. We all do two things in life, we move towards pleasure and move away from pain. If you are experiencing emotional pain, it is because you are in conflict with something you value but you just don’t know or understand what that is? Hence, you feel stuck just like Tracy!
P.P.S. Some of the most successful people on our planet from Donald Trump to Mother Teresa understood what their values meant to them. Their constant action towards their values enabled them to live the lives they always wanted. They are no different to anyone else the only difference is their choices and then their actions based on constantly living to their highest values.
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Relationship Rescue - Stop Your Relationship Break Up Today!
April 11, 2008
Relationship rescue for those wanting to stop your relationship break up or for those wanting a relationship back.
Breaking up is an awful thing to go through, most of us don‘t go into a relationship with a view to it breaking up. Spliting up is a emotional trauma for both of you. You had such high hopes and it started so well. Over time, you have just felt that it was not going the way you wanted it to. You feel so bad that you know that something has to change, so you decide that splitting up is the only answer. I expect like me you have been on both sides of that particular fence.
Many breaks up should not happen. Many people either just get bored or feel that the grass is greener elsewhere. My experience has shown that the major reason people break up is through a lack of understanding of what the intentions of their partners are. Consistent communication breakdown! They make assumptions about their partners actions and thoughts. Then they feel bad about their thoughts that they created all on their own. Next they make their partner’ responsible for those thoughts and a lack of respect creeps in and over time the relationship starts to spiral out of control. A relationship rescue is now needed fast.
Relationship rescue, You can stop your relationship break up.
Assumptions are the killers in any relationship. The solution is to talk and understand the positive intentions behind the actions your partner made. 9 times out of 10, you will discover that what you thought was a bad behaviour turns out to be a good one! It is the little things that grow out of control. Don’t assume anything find out before it too late.
For example, Matt feels he is being nagged to fix the gate! Sarah wants the gate fixed but does not explain why! Matt says he will do it, but the days pass and the gate is still not fixed. Sarah keeps on about the gate and now Matt’s is getting fed up with the constant nagging and goes out more to get away from her. She is now furious about the gate and now he is never around. “It’s such a simple thing. Why won’t he do this little thing for me?” A lack of respect is setting in on both sides if it‘s not corrected this can quickly make life miserable. If life stays miserable then one party could take drastic action, and many do!
It is the small things that start relationship problems, that then start to fester and turn into big ones. Sarah feels that she can’t “trust” Matt to respect her wishes and now he’s angry and out doing god knows what… what’s he really upto? Trust is the corner stone of any relationship! Lose that and your in big trouble!
What Matt didn’t realise is Sarah wanted the gate fixed because her nieces age 4 and 7 were coming to stay. For them to be safe whilst playing in the garden the gate had to be fixed. That was her positive intention; security for the children. His positive intention was to prioritise household chores in amongst his work and his leisure time activities. He felt she just wanted to control him and stop him doing what he felt was important. If Matt new the reason he would have acted quicker as he is very fond of the children and also values their security. This type of communication break down is very common and if not careful can lead to break-ups.
So if you have just experienced a break-up then there is a good chance it should not have happened. The worst place to be is on the receiving end. You experience a form of madness that creates a barrage of texts and drunken phone calls late at night when you have been out drinking to forget what has happened. You contact all the friends and family to find out what has happened and why? Then you go frantic because now you have just realised that there might be someone else! Now you are in a frenzy of uncontrollable emotion.
You have a goal and that is to get your ex back! All those actions will push them further away but what actions will get them back? If you are serious about getting your ex back and you know deep down you have a future together and he or she has the wrong end of the stick then take action now before it is too late.
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1 in 5 Couples Admit to Espionage in the Home.
April 9, 2008
The Oxford University has uncovered that at least 1 in 5 people in relationships are involved with reading their partners, text message, emails and 1 in 10 are checking up on their browsing history to check their partner is not cheating. When experts at datingshoes.com read the report from the Oxford University they had a bigger question.
“Why is there such little trust between partners?”
Relationship coach and founder of datingshoes.com Steve Hedger, reveals that
“Secretly, most couples struggle to trust their partners.”
So where does this lack of trust come from? Easy access to others via the internet and texting is one factor but what is really happening?
Every day we are being given a message that the lack of trust is everywhere. In the media, soaps that create affairs as entertainment. Even in our circle of friends and work colleagues. Affairs and splits are a reality of life today. Therefore, the possibility of our partners finding someone better, slimmer, or more exciting is in the minds of many through these constant reminders. The result is affairs and splits have become more acceptable, until it happens to you.
What we have experienced through years of relationship coaching, is when two people decide to get together most do not understand why they have chosen that person to be with. They choose partners that make them feel good at that moment in time. Then over time find that their choice of partner does not fulfil their long-term needs. They start to feel bad and then look for ways to feel good. Many times that choice could be an affair or a split. The cost is huge.
“The reality is, people cannot trust themselves to pick the right person.”
Datingshoes relationship experts have found the individuals who understood how their values worked, experienced a massive difference in their choices and actions. As a result, they experienced happier lives.
“If you do not understand values, then prepare yourself for pain.”
“Many people do not understand values or even understand what a value is” say’s Steve. “DatingShoes mission is to change this at a grass roots level. Where relationships start at the dating stage, where people are making decisions to be with others. They will understand how important there values are and what impact not understanding them will have on their lives.” say’s Steve.
For more information on choosing a life partner, and what critical values you need to have for you to be happy, sign up to the free newsletter. We will send you more infomation on this subject and information about the “Values Master Class”
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“How to Be Irresistible to Men…”
“Meet & Keep the Right Man”
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Being Single and Loving It - Part 1
April 6, 2008
Being single and loving it is a wonderful place to be, because it gives you the chance to have a relationship with you.
“Being single and loving it” is what I hear from people just out of relationships. But afer a while these people start to feel torn because the pain of their relationship split has now subsided and now they are starting to miss someone being there. So being single can also be a lonely place where you start to doubt yourself in amongst the freedom you also love.
You’ll have a mix of emotions from; I am really happy being single and loving it, I have no-one to answer to, I can do what I want when I want, and then when you look around you start to see is happy couples everywhere. You then start worry about not finding someone to have a relationship with. Now you worry about becoming lonely as you see the years stretch before you.
It does not matter how attractive a person is, or how much attention they get from the opposite sex. The task of finding a long term relationship can be daunting. We all look at beautiful people and think they will have no problem meeting someone. This may be true, but who wants to meet and be with just anyone, most know that it’s better being single than be with a partner that does not make them happy? Being attractive does not equaly being happy in relationships. In fact attractive people have more of a problem, they attract more people they don’t want, and lots that could be ok and in this mass of people there could be one or two who could be just right. It’s like a needle in a hay stack.
Then the doubt sets in, you’re having a great time being single why wouldn’t you, you have freedom and the thought of swapping that freedom for potentially night after night watching videos whilst your friends are travelling and meeting new people, creating adventures and new opportunities. But still in the back of your mind there is a voice telling you to find that special partner.
Being single and loving it
So now you find yourself going out more and even though your telling yourself “I love being single and I’m not going out to find a someone”. Now you’ve been going out for a while and even though you know you don’t want to meet someone, it would be nice to have the choice to say no! You are meeting people but they are either idiots or just not what you would want. Now you start to question what is wrong with you!
You roll in after yet another night out, you head for the fridge and your diet goes out the window and you then ponder your life, am I too fat, ugly, am I intimidating, what’s wrong with me? Your statement “Being single and loving it” starts to feel less appealing You fall asleep feeling depressed! You then wake the following day, you shake the feeling of being depressed and convince yourself that being single is the best place for you and so the cycle starts and you find yourself repeating these thoughts. If this is you then something needs to change.
The key to finding someone special
This cycle will create a desperate persona, and without knowing this gives off an unattractive vibe that others will pick up on or abuse. The best way to find a special relationship is to be happy and create energy and excitement for your own life right now! Start to create the life you want and do not make your happiness conditional on meeting that special partner.
Accept that meeting someone who is right for you is what you want but for the moment being single and loving it is where you are and it is for good reason. Any person you consider for a relationship must be an added value to your already fabulous life, or the one your now going to create. Don’t expect this special person to make your life brilliant because you can create insecurities in you later in the relationship, it will make you vulnerable and dependant. This change of mindset will create a more attractive you to the opposite sex, whether your male or female. When you start to create the life you want, you will find that you’ll start to meet others’ that are interested in the same things you are into and now you will have more in common with your potential dates than you ever would have had down at the local bar. So the goal is to feel confident and happy about ‘you’ first.
The answers to this are in the next article. It will explain how to get that great feeling of just being you. What you will find is “being single and loving” it is your key to success and ironically will help you find that special person.
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